By Asher

Dear Mr Brown,

I am writing to apply to your offer to stay at Darkwood Manor for one night as advertised in the Scarborough Evening News.

I am curious about the Manor as you did not describe it as well as I would have liked you to. Therefore I am forced to ask a few questions:

When is the stay arranged for?

How old is the house?

Why are you offering the ludicrous amount of money; five hundred pounds for the applicants?

Is any of the manor rotten?

I am twenty five years of age and work at Whitby leisure centre three days a week.

I am also a part time shop assistant at the ‘Give Way Extreme Sports Shop’ also in Whitby.

I hope I am one of the lucky forty people to be accepted to stay in the manor.

Yours sincerely

Mr Martin .B. Moorhouse.

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It was a cold windy morning in Whitby. I woke to the sound of the letter box flapping. I jumped out of the bed and slumped down the stairs and picked up four letters. A flier for the new swimming pool, the gas bill, a credit card offer and a strange, coffee stained and shabby envelope.

I sat down on a pouf and slowly opened the envelope; inside there was a letter. I unfolded it and read it a few times few to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. It was the reply from Mr Brown! But why had it come so late? I applied for it nine months ago!

I read on:

Please meet on Friday the thirteenth of July at eight in the afternoon at ‘The Swan Hotel ‘, Darkington.

That’s in two weeks time!

The two weeks passed very quickly, on the day I jumped into my Land Rover and sped off towards Darkington.

Three hours later I arrived in glorious sunshine, I pulled over onto the village green, got out and looked for The Swan it was next to the village stores. I jogged over and walked into the bar, at the end of the room was a sign saying ‘please come this way Darkwood Manor visitors.’ I walked through and found myself in a small but extremely posh room. The seats were lined with red and gold fabric and each had its own unique design. There were already a lot of people chattering and having a laugh.

There were several smokers in a corner taking no notice of the no smoking sign next to the door!

I sat down with to other men and stated chatting. "My name’s Dave and this is Bob" said one of them "my name’s Martin, pleasure" a man bald head walked in. "Nice to meet you"

"You too" said Bob.

"I work at both the Whitby leisure centre and at the ‘Give Way Extreme Sports shop©’ also in Whitby" I told them,

"That’s funny I work at the cycle centre in Falsgrave, Scarborough! You sell bikes, don’t you?" Dave said

"Yes, but I bought my bike from your shop."

"I work as a postman in Scarborough, I ……"

As soon as Bob started talking, a tall thin man w

"Hello, my name is Mr Brown I am the owner of Darkwood Manor, I trust you got your replies to your letters?" he asked

"Yes" we said.

"Great, now, have any of you got any questions?"

"Yeah, will we be able to wander around the house at night?" said a small young lady

"No, definitely not most areas of the house are highly dangerous!" he snapped "And anyway you will be locked in the ballroom, the safest area in the Whole of the house! Although, I will tour you round the ground floor when we have got there!"

Half an hour later when everybody had asked at least one question each, the atmosphere was getting very smoky and smelly.

The hotel reception phone rang; Mr Brown answered it then put it down.

"I am so sorry to say that there has been an unfortunate occurrence, we will have to delay the stay until next week!" there was a terrifying uproar from some of the men and women! "Please calm down; we will meet here at the same time!" Mr Brown ran out the room and slipped into his black Cadillac© and drove away just missing three red hot cigars!

I walked up the steep stone, crumbling steps right behind Mr Brown. He fought the key into the rusting lock, twisted it round and heaved it open. It squeaked like a million mice! "Urgh! What’s that stench?" muffled Bob with his sweater over his face.

"It is the dampness" replied Mr Brown "oh; I thought it smelt like fifty year old milk!" We followed Mr Brown through the tatty hall that had a few deer heads hanging on the walls. We carried on into the main hall there was a freak master piece on the ceiling.

There didn’t seem to be as many people as there were last time, but I was pleased to see that both Dave and Bob were in the line. We huddled into the far corner and dumped our bags.

"If you would like to come this way, I will show you the rest of the ground floor"

Everybody left the ballroom and followed Mr Brown. We went into all the rooms but the most interesting one was the Dayroom.

There were two mugs still with coffee dregs in, a pack of cards and two squashy armchairs.

When we got back to the ballroom everybody set up there beds and things ready for the long, cold night ahead. Mr Brown heaved the door shut then clicked the lock and left.

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I was getting really irritated from being bored so I started to walk around the room searching for an exit. The best I found were four loose bricks above where Travis (a stuntman and an almost professional skateboarder!) was sitting. I walked back over to Dave and Bob and leant against the cold stone wall.

"I’ve got pins and needles" muttered Bob as he shuffled around fustratedly, "wooooo" he shouted. Me and Dave turned around and saw that bob had disappeared! He must have been sucked up by the wall!" I said

"No its one of those walls that spin around like we see the movies!" Dave pushed the wall and jumped through. I followed him a few seconds later "Ow!" I had jumped into Bob "oops, sorry" I said. "Wow we’ve found a passage" Dave said happily dancing around "Ow, you stood on my toe!" I screamed. "Sorry." I turned around and put my head torch on and started walking in front of Dave and Bob. The ceiling of the passage started to get lower and lower until we had to crawl! "Guys, it’s a dead end!"

"Oh no, we going to have to go back" They chorused sounding very, very frustrated. I started to turn back and kicked the wall in frustration there was a horrible squeaking noise coming from behind me! "No, it’s not," I shouted "I just made the door to, to the Dayroom, I think! Come on lets go down there!"

"Yyyeeesssssss" Bob said. I crawled back and jumped out, then Dave and bob followed me. "whaaaaahhooooo!" Dave screamed.

There was a candle holder bent backwards on the wall next to the passage Dave pushed the trap door and the holder bent back into the original position! I ran over to the door and twisted the handle, it wouldn’t move! We were trapped! Dong, dong, dong…….." chimed the grandfather in the corner - it was midnight!

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"What’s that whirring?" asked bob as he leant back against the coffee table. "Aaaahhhh!" (it was on casters!) A mug fell off the table and landed on the worn down carpet, it made a hollow thud "that’s strange the rest of the floor is solid!" said Bob curiously. He kicked the floor "yikes!"

He had fallen down through the carpet and landed on some soggy furniture "Eewww!" he shouted. "It always happens to you doesn’t it?" Dave called. Bob looked around and picked up some rope and threw one end up and grabbed the other Dave caught the end and tied it onto a armchair then krusieked down, I followed him shortly afterwards. "Wow we’re in the cellar!" I said "Err, it looks more like the country’s dump!" Dave said. "Urgghh, look over there, there are some dead bats and things! Yuck!" Bob said pretending to be sick "or, or maybe it’s a graveyard!" he continued

"A graveyard with no graves!" I corrected him. We walked out of the room into the next; there were old bits of furniture that were mouldy and rotten. There was a loud bump from behind us, we ran back and looked up "Why do we have to get stuck again?" I said Come on let’s run and look around for a way out of the the hole we had come through "oh no, the rope has fallen down! Why do we always cellar," Dave said in a depressed tone of voice. So, we did as Dave said and ran around the different rooms looking for another passage. Bob was running ahead, full speed "Bob, stop, you’re going to crash!" I shouted. But it was too late! He had slipped and fallen over then slid into a four poster bed! I and Dave ran over and knowing the four poster was rotten we heaved it out the way then pulled Bob onto his feet. "Bob you are the most unlucky person I have ever met!" said Dave shaking his head like he was Mr Perfect. "Look there’s a door behind the bed!" I shouted

We opened the door and looked around it was a staircase! We ran up it until we came to a pile of rubble. "Oh no, it’s blocked! The ceiling has caved in! We’ll have to get rid of it." I shouted. We ran over to the rubble and started clearing it. After what seamed like hours we had cleared the staircase. We jogged up the rest of the small, narrow rickety staircase and finally reached the top. "Look there’s a door" Dave said. We pushed through it with our shoulders and fell through it in a heap on the other side. I stood up and looked. We were on the first floor!

We walked lightly over to the nearest door; there was a quiet click. "Oh no! My torch, the light has gone out!" Dave said

"Mine and Bob’s are still working though" I told him

"Phew" he replied.

We entered the nearest room and stared for a moment. It was one of the master bedrooms. But it was in perfect condition! Or was it? "Ouch" I exclaimed as I tripped over an upturned chair, "Aahhhh!" I was falling through the floor into the ballroom "Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Oh, no it’s a late arrival!" said a mans voice from the ground. Luckily I landed on Bob’s puncture repaired air bed. I looked up gasping for breath and saw that both Dave and Bob were stupidly doing the same thing! I rolled out of the way onto the stone floor and watched as they fell and landed. "Woe that was fun, let’s do that again!" Dave said "Let’s not!" said a voice coming from the centre of the room. I was Mr Brown "Well I am amazed, so many of you have escaped!" he said

"They’ve been exploring!" said Jokey Smo a crazy old man from the town of Scarborough "Have they really?" said Mr Brown.

He was a changed man, at the hotel he was stuttering; now he’s happier than a happy clown in the happiest town on happy planet!

"And cut!" said somebody or something from above me "excellent people great way to wrap it up" the thing progressed.

"what? You mean to say we were on a T.V show!?" Dave shouted

"Well not exactly!" said Mr Brown "oh, but I wanted…."

"Hush please, this is just a pilot, if you do not want to be on the show we can extract you." Mr Brown said calmly

"Now please raise you hand if you don’t want to be in the new show please say so now." Nobody moved. Not even Travis on his skateboard!

"Great, now you will be able to watch the new show called "Jeepers Creepers" on Thursday the 7^th of December at eight in the evening."

"Wow I’ll be able to watch myself on TV!" Dave said.

"Right now if you would like to come this way please and follow me to the Swan Hotel for breakfast and departure."

When we got there we walked into the lounge which was now set up with large tables and mountains of food.

As soon as we had finished eating Mr Brown gave us our certificates written in cursive. "Wow my family won’t believe a bit of this!" I said.

"Good bye everyone, I hope you have a good trip back," said Mr Brown whilst giving us the six hundred pounds as we walked out the door. "See yah" Dave said to me and Bob,

"Bye" we said in unison. I climbed in to my Land Rover and sped away just missing the end of Mr Blacks very long Cadillac©.

That was defiantly a night to remember!